Myths and Cliches

The truth about Filipina wives and “Asian Wife” myths


Western society has been cursed with feminism. I say “cursed”, because our society has suffered because of it. Marriages have a failure rate of nearly 50%, and that’s a terrible statistic.

Many men decide that the solution is to marry a “docile, asian woman” and head for the Philippines. The have the notion of the “mail order bride” who will do anything for the man who saves her from poverty. Big mistake!

Firstly, “Asia” is a region. It is not a country, and it is certainly not a culture. Europe is a region, but I think most will accept that there are huge differences between the cultures of England, Greece, Spain and Germany. Yet they’re all European. Well, Filipinos are Asian in the same way. Forget everything you’ve read or heard about subservient “mail order brides” (a very ugly term) who are “trained by their mothers to serve men”. It’s a myth. If you think a Filipina will be a cliched silent, docile little lady who will bow and call you “Master”, then may I suggest you look elsewhere? Maybe get a dog or cat instead?

Men and women are different. We’re of equal value and have equal needs of respect, but we’re made differently. Women are generally more emotional, whilst men are more practical. Women generally have a better eye for detail, and can patiently cook the dinner, talk on the phone, feed the baby and write out a shopping list all at the same time. Men generally have cooler heads in crises, and can concentrate on one thing for a long time. We’re physically stronger, and emotionally tougher. We tend to make major decisions better, whilst our wives handle the details better than we can.

Filipinas are generally very feminine. They are generally non-confrontational when treated kindly and with respect. They generally cook well, clean the house well, and take wonderful care of their husbands and kids. And if you’re a good man, ie. kind, loving, faithful, a good provider, devoted family man, and treat them well, most will be prepared to stick by you and treat you with the respect that a good man should have. They are happy being ladies, and are happy that you’re a man. They will generally not want to swap gender roles with you, or to make feminist-inspired anti-male put-downs.

But if you’re lazy, or if you cheat on them, or are a bad parent, or if you’re violent or simply treat them with a lack of kindness, they will lose respect for you very quickly. Don’t expect a docile little wife who will sit around watching her family deteriorate because you’re a bad provider or make bad decisions. If you don’t “wear the trousers”, she will! Someone has to! Respect must be earned and it must be deserved. Don’t think you may act like a tyrant or a Sultan in his palace and get away with it. These are generally strong and very capable women. Don’t be fooled just because they don’t try to act like men.

And in contrast, don’t act like a “metrosexual” style spineless wuss either. Filipinas want to marry a man who is a man. She will be happy to take care of you as a loving and feminine wife does, but expects in turn to be take care-of by a strong man who can protect and support his family. But you must do so with kindness, love, patience, and a sense of justice.

My wife and I have enormous respect for each other, and for each other’s unique talents and abilities. Most of the time we seem to be strong where the other one is weak and in need. I take care of the men-things, and she takes care of the woman-things. She spoils me rotten, and I spoil her rotten. But I don’t put on the apron, nor does she put on the overalls. We’d be lost without each other, and that’s how it should be.

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Jeff is registered migration agent who has been helping couples with visas to Australia ... Jeff is the owner / operator of Down Under Visa. If you would like to SUBSCRIBE, please click HERE.

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5 comments on “Myths and Cliches
  1. christopher says:

    Filipina women are insanely jealous and they are hard headed and very opinionated. They will love you and be loyal to you but they won’t stand by while you run them down or try to make them feel like crap. They are not shy from an argument and they do not have fear of men. They are strong minded women and they make perfect homemakers but they will be pushy sometimes and competitive and if they think another woman is trying to get her man she can turn into a stone cold killer. I am not even exaggerating! They are insanely jealous and will go to the extreme if you break their heart so be careful. Be respectful and mindful of what you are getting yourself into. She might be youthful,attractive,kind,loving,loyal all of those things but docile she is not. She will often challenge you, I know in some asian cultures the women are like that but I know for a fact that Filipina women are not one of them. They are a strong willed people that do not live in fear and they are from some of the roughest living areas on the planet. True poverty and struggle often brings out a hell of a personality especially in a woman. I admire it because it shows true strength and a strong woman is a very attractive trait to a man like myself.

  2. Tonet says:

    I am a filipina ! And you got it right! Thanks

  3. Benjamin Wilson says:

    You don’t always get what you are expecting. I started in a small group of gentlemen that were working to get a K-1 visa for their future wife. Out of the group of 9, 4 have already separated or divorced. As soon as their new wife got their Green card, they were gone!From conversations I have seen a few things to watch for. Very secretive about internet use and refusal to let you see who they are communicating with. Having to leave the area when they get a phone call. Insisting on having an inside dog to alert them to you arriving home. Just like in any relationship, if it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t. Put a stop to it soon and save yourself a lot of trouble and grief. Our group meet on FB in a Group Posted as Men who are going to marry Philippino women.

  4. Rose Rogers says:

    This is a very helpful website for filipinas like me married to an Australian… my husband and I are so inlove with each other but sometimes challenged with our cultural differences and as well as language barrier…it is a struggle but despite that we worked things out so well…

    I agree to what youve written here…we will give our all to our husband if he will love us and respect us…i think all women do but we filipinas will not just give you our hand but the entire “US”….

  5. Jeff Harvie says:

    Glad you like the website. Thanks for the kind words.